The Everyday Man's Creed

By Wikipedia Loves Art participant "shooting_brooklyn" [CC-BY-SA-2.5], via Wikimedia Commons

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While I may not be rich I must have ambition

What I lack in talent I will make up by action

While I may not be handsome I will be well groomed

What I lack in physique I will make up in the gymroom

While I may not be smooth I will practice speaking

What I lack in knowledge I will make up through learning

While I may not be sure I will ask for the number

What I lack in style I will make up being bolder

When I am fearful that's when I will act

I will not allow rejections to hold me back

I will bring value to all my interactions

I will lead them beyond satisfaction 

To this end I must believe and strive

Be a better man each day I'm alive

So will the magic of attraction thrive

And thus will I be the prize

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The Living Soul

 Image: luigi diamanti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

'It's the heart afraid of dying, that never learns to dance; It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance; It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give; And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live.' - Bette Midler

How's the new year gone so far? Made any resolutions? Or... perhaps broken one already?

The truth is, everybody fumbles and falls sometimes. I was thinking of writing a whole list of new year resolutions for improving one's love life, but some recent events have taught me best laid plans don't necessarily succeed. So today I'm just here to encourage you. [We'll leave the preaching and 'top 10 ways to make her smile' for another day] Wherever you are, and whatever position you may be in right now, it's alright if things are not going as intended.

It's really OK.

Sometimes we tend to be a little too harsh on ourselves, especially in matters of the heart. So if you need to, take that bit of time, cry a little, and be still. Just never give up trying for something better later.

This year, I hope you'll take chances, dance, give & take and truly live. And I hope that there's that special someone beside you all the way too.

Happy New Year

November Rain

 

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
And no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my own 

Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

 

[Guns n Roses: November Rain]

Some meaningful lyrics for all of you who are dealing with challenges / obstacles. Just keep at it and things will be fine one day.

The Pick Up Line

'My magic watch says you're not wearing any underwear'

'Oh you're wrong. I definitely am'

'Damn, it's gone 15 minutes early again'

[It's been awhile. I've slipped. Due to a combination of being ultra busy, writer's block and dis-inspiration, I just haven't found the drive to write. Things have stabilized somewhat though, so here we go again]

Yes, the pick up line. Subject of interest and fascination by those who believe in magic super lines that will cause the ladies to smile, swoon and melt. Also the subject of scorn and late party discussions of 'what's the worst one you ever heard?'

Here's the bad news. Magic super lines? Don't exist.

The good news? Lines really aren't worth that much. Some tend to over-analyze and over-emphasize, but they're just a means of initiating a conversation. What's more important is the complete approach which may include but is not limited to the following:

1. Not appearing like a desperado/creepy serial killer/sex-crazed rapist
2. Being well dressed and well groomed
3. Keeping confident body language & smile
4. Reading the responses of the target audience - some people may just be having a bad day and not interested in intercourse (conversation) - just move on
5. Keeping the conversation light and humorous - steering away from overly serious topics - life/death, religion, politics, the effects of $86/barrel oil prices on the Malaysian economy...
6. Having fun, without expectations

Want a little conversation to try? "Hey, I've gtg in awhile but I'd like your opinion on something. Do you think pick up lines work?"

So what do I think is the world's best pick up line?

"Hello"

p.s. if you guys have any great pick up lines do send them over for mutual discussion, laughs and improvement :)

Till Death Do Us Part

"… in sickness and in health, till death do us part"

I was at an childhood friend’s wedding yesterday. It was wonderful, meeting up with old friends, seeing so many of them already having beautiful partners of their own, and most importantly, celebrating the union of my good old buddy with his life partner. I wish him and his lovely wife the best.

Wedding vows are sacred. But it is sad to see the current high rate of divorce in our society. Perhaps not as bad as some other countries, but in my native Malaysia, more than 15% of people who get married eventually get divorced. What gives?

While I think a lot of marriages fail because one or both parties are just not really committed to making it work, there a whole lot of other people out there too who are sincere and try, only to see their marriage and relationships break down.

A very wise person once told me: ‘Don’t think that marriage solves relationship problems; it only amplifies them’. Which brings me to my point. Too many of us tend to rush when it comes to matters of the heart. From jumping into a relationship when barely knowing a stranger, to moving in together too quickly, to overlooking critical character defects, people do all sorts or rash things when in love.

For those who are into long-term relationships and eventually marriage: I believe dating should be a process of two people getting to know each other, assessing whether they are right for each other and seeing whether they can spend their lives together. High standards and a level head are important. While butterflies in the stomach might get in judgement’s way for awhile, time is a great friend. For when all the initial euphoria and excitement fades, that’s when two people can start to see deep into each other's characters.

I wish that everyone who got together could have a happy fairytale ending, but life is never ideal. There will always be risks, and yes risks need to be taken in love. But if people were more careful and selective, perhaps we would see a lot more lasting and happy marriages.

Mental Action Point: Keep high standards if you’re on the lookout for a partner, for character doesn’t easily change. Overlooking critical character flaws could just come back to haunt one day in the future.

The small Things

"Watch your thoughts, for they become your words; Watch your words, for they become your actions; Watch your actions, for they become your habits; Watch your habits, for they become your character; Watch your character for it becomes your destiny" -anonymous (Gandhi?)-

I was talking to an old friend last night about New Year resolutions and realized that it's already mid-October. 2 months to go and another new year beckons. How have you fared with this year's new year resolutions?

I find it sobering that the average person (assuming a 70 year life span) only has just over 25000 days to live before it's time to go. Yet, we're often so busy with our lives that our days and months just slip away quickly without us accomplishing much. There are giants among us, whose relentless drive and iron will bring them much success and achievement. But for the rest of us mortals, sometimes we're just too tired at the end of the day to even think of improving our lives in any way.

Here's where I believe the mind and the small things are important. Our lives can be improved over time by firstly setting our minds on a goal, and then taking simple baby steps towards that goal everyday. By having a goal, our subconscious mind starts looking out for opportunities that might eventually lead towards achieving it. And taking small steps is easy, relatively painless, but will definitely reap benefits over time.

A simple example: Brad feels shy and uncomfortable talking to women. So he writes down his goal as to overcome shyness and to be able to talk to women his age without feeling overly nervous. He starts working towards his goal by simply saying hello to his neighbors every morning...

Have a wonderful, achieving final few months of the year.

Simple Action Point: Decide everyday that you want to improve yourself and get better at your relationships/dating life (or anything else you want). Your thoughts subconsciously control your behavior, and ultimately your destiny. While thoughts without action is never enough, setting the right mindset puts you on the right path towards achieving your goals. And if you're prepared to take action, you'll find you can change your life.

Beauty and the BMW

"Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it" -Confucius-

Here's something fundamental to think about: First impressions. 

The whole attraction process may be complicated, but it all starts with that first glance, look or interaction. Mental images of a person are created very quickly once any interaction is made. The bad news is that if that mental image is not the desired one, it takes a lot to change that image. On the other hand, once a great first impression is made, it sets the right stage for any future progress.

Impressions count. Men are visual creatures. It may sound shallow and superficial but at first, men are attracted by physical beauty.

What to do? A little effort in dressing up and firming up always brings the boys to the yard.

The rules change a little though for women. Yes, women too are attracted to physical beauty, but how many times have you seen a totally gorgeous 10/10 babe out with a plain looking guy? There are a lot of things women notice initially about a guy. While men are usually very simply either breast or leg men, women (consciously or unconsciously) may check out things like height, dressing, posture, cleanliness, tidiness, shoes, type of car, eye contact and voice tone. I've settled on the word status to loosely describe these. Just like how men initially are attracted by looks, women are initially attracted by men they perceive to have high status.

What to do? Practice traits and behaviors of a high status man, like standing straight, holding eye contact, speaking confidently and dressing well. It'll help in other aspects of life as well, such as career. If you drive a BMW, make sure it's clean.

Of course relationships are a lot more than just outer appearances. I strongly believe that personalities show through over time, and those are what really make or break a relationship. That being said, it would never hurt one's dating life to put on a more attractive appearance everyday. Marketing a product well is often as important as having a great product.

Extremely Simple Action Point: Smile more. Works for everyone. A sincere smile makes a person look approachable, happy and positive; all of which are wonderful for raising attraction in the opposite sex :) (Unless of course you already have too many admirers and want to lose some)